Tuesday, April 17, 2012

(More) Thoughts on Parenting

Even though I became a parent at a very young age, I took my responsibilities seriously immediately. I started reading everything I could get my hands on about care and discipline of children. I also asked lots of advice from parents whose methods I admired. My Aunt Sue poured hours and hours of teaching and love into me as a young parent, and her time has meant so much to me over the years.
A week or so ago, I hurt one of my teenagers. I did something very thoughtless, leading him to believe that he wasn't as important to me as his siblings. I was crushed. It was innocent enough, without malice on my part, but my lack of consideration hurt him. And that hurts me. I got to thinking about why this bothers me so much.
As a child, my parents were very busy, and not super hands-on in my life. (I should clarify that this is not the case these days. I have a strong, healthy relationship with my parents now, and I love them dearly.) There were many times I felt unimportant, and unloved.  I was determined to never make my children feel that way, and yet I have. Unintentionally, but I have.
I take great joy in being mother to TJ, Cory, Madison and Zachery. I also love being wife to Jay. These are my first responsibilities, and the delight of my life. I have lots of interests, but I consider my home my job at this time in my life.
As I matured in life, and in my walk with God, I learned that true joy and contentment does not come from the people and circumstances around you, it comes from within.

"

The LORD is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy." Psalm 28:7
I have to remind myself of the promises found in the Word, when my abilities seem to fail me, despite my earnest desire to do right. Thankfully, I can depend upon that truth, or I would feel constant discouragement.
As for my relationship with my son, I went to him face to face with a sincere apology, and and offer of lunch the following day. He graciously accepted my apology, and the offer of lunch. (Although he preferred I just drop it off at school, and not stay to eat with him. Teenagers! Haha!)
Have you ever hurt someone, whether it was your child or a friend? If so, how do you respond?


Dress: Cinch & Flow Maxi, Anthro
Belt: Bowtied Luster Belt, Anthro
Shoes: American Eagle

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